I Just Don't Fit...
Ever since middle school, everyone has wanted to fit in. Finding a group of friends and giving yourself a label. Aligning yourself with a phrase can be beneficial and detrimental at the same time.
“Reformed” is a label. Labels can help you differentiate and find like minded people. If I went to a reformed church, I could assume they believed in the bible, they were most likely a confessional church, believes in the doctrines of grace, etc.
But I want to focus on not fitting. I have rarely fit into anyone’s predetermined boxes. Growing up I was homeschooled and age was the only real classifying indicator. I loved my jean skirt and listening to BarlowGirl. The book fair at school and having a packed lunch were foreign to me. Sunday school and swim team were how I made friends. Those weren’t things other kids did. In sixth grade, I started public school. I learned about bad words, sex, and homework, but I still didn’t fit into a category even though there were more to be placed in. None of my classmates wanted to sit with me during lunch, so I would read the American Girl Doll magazine in the library. A curly headed boy in my English class found out I had a crush on him and told me he didn’t think I was cute. I still was searching for a safe space. Even at a young age, I preferred to sit with adults and listen. They had knowledge. They had authority. They had wisdom. I enjoyed talking to the librarians and building a relationship with them. I enjoyed the trust and respect teachers gave me. At that age, I think I subconsciously understood that labels don’t matter. They are just labels and if labels make up who you are, it almost makes you too easy to understand.
What happens when you take categories and place them in a church setting? Normally, you get a well rounded congregation! However, there are those times in which you don’t fit. At a former church, I struggled with the sin of putting myself in categories I didn’t fit into. I was a young adult, but I wasn’t in college. I was in a serious relationship, but I wasn’t married. I was a live in nanny, but they weren’t my kids. At a church in Loudoun County, Virginia, I was essentially the unicorn. You couldn’t categorize me. I started acting like I was married and the children I had were my own…
I became sad and tired. I felt shame for not being enough to fit into the predetermined boxes of this church. I wanted to be married. I wanted my own children. I wanted to go to school. None of those things changed the fact that I just didn’t fit. I was an outlier.
Churches should caution themselves when building ministries and bringing in new people. Be careful not to put them a category they don’t belong in. I fell into a trap of really wanting to be involved in the church, but when the church is geared towards young married couples and families with children, they might forget some people don’t fit in that mold.
Men’s ministry, Women’s ministry, Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, all are ministries that God has given us. Yes, if there is a large amount of people who all homeschool their children or all are pursuing something in ministry, go ahead and start one up! Just don’t make it the end all be all of your membership. God wants us to be in fellowship together. This is what Titus 2 is about. The older coming alongside the younger and teaching them how to follow the Lord effectively.
We are all Children of God. This is really the only label we should be proud to wear. As a child of God, you are an heir. You have a beautiful future already predestined for the glorification of the Lord. John 1:12-13, “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
I am Morgan Combs. Writer. Woman. Child of God. I cannot be summed up by my childhood, parental situation, or appearances. I know my worth is not in what is on this earth, but in who created me.